Today I spent my lunch finishing up some horn charts at a local coffeeshop. Apparently, it was really easy to see my screen because people kept asking me what I was doing and why. Overall it was a great conversation starter, but I really did want to get some work done, so I tried to keep it short and sweet. (I really am trying to work on the sweet part.)
One guy in particular really wanted to talk; this became apparent when he sat down at my table. He began telling me his story about how hard it is to “make it” in music, and how he had tried this and that and the other thing, how many people had flaked on him, how rude club owners could be, how bands think he’s too old, and that if he just had the right band THEN he could start a “buzz”. I let him talk and made sure to listen and even made sure to look AT him when he talked (I just heard a message on this not too long ago and felt pretty convicted). After his sad story, he asked me how much churches paid and whether or not I thought he could be successful doing that.
So many thoughts rushed through my head, but there was so little I could say that I felt he’d be able to receive.
I’m sure I could have come up with a much better response, definitely a more spiritual one, but I was a little overwhelmed.
I asked him why he couldn’t just play just because he enjoyed it.
He said it was hard to put so much in and get so little out.
This made me sincerely sad. I’m sure there’s been a time where I’ve felt the same way (if I was completely honest with myself), but it’s been a long time. These days every time I pick up an instrument to play, I get a tingling feeling almost like it’s magical. There’s an unconscious, or many times a conscious, thought of “Wow, I get to play this; I get to make music!”. I feel unbelievably privileged.
I didn’t tell him this. Instead, I told him that in order to be a successful musician, he would have to give up promoting himself. I didn’t expect him to be able to receive it, he’s done nothing but try to promote himself for 30 or 40 years, maybe longer.
But there was so much more I wanted to tell him.
I wanted to tell him that he could be a successful musician and that it actually wouldn’t be too hard… I wanted him to know the joy I have in my music “career”.
But it all starts with giving up on trying to promote yourself.
If he would have asked… (in retrospect, maybe I should have pushed the issue)
How to have a successful music career.
(This isn’t the only way, won’t work for everyone, disclaimer, legal stuff, blah, blah, blah)
Start by putting the instrument down and stop listening to music. For at least 6 months. Read the whole Bible, meditate on it, let it cut through you. Even if you’re an atheist there’s good stuff in there. (Your chops will deteriorate. This is good. They weren’t getting you anything anyways, and they’ll come back better.)
Get a bike or a kayak or take up jogging, something outside that takes awhile to do. Alone. Spend this time in prayer and meditation. Even if you don’t believe in God, argue out your issues with Him, and the issues you think He has with you.
When you come back, keep your devotional life going. If ever you must choose between your spiritual life and your musical goals, choose the former.
Ok, so you did that?
Now, start playing for people that can’t give anything in return. Play for senior citizens that are locked in, play for prisons, play for kids. Don’t play YOU, play what they want to hear. Play it the way they want to hear it, to the best of your ability.
Do nothing but this for awhile.
Never stop doing this.
You are learning to serve.
If you can do this and love doing this and are satisfied with this, feel free to proceed. If after doing this for awhile you feel burnt out and/or ambitious, put your instrument down for a year and try it again. If that doesn’t work, maybe music ain’t your thing.
So moving ahead…
Join a band or group, but join a band that has a purpose (a purpose other than promoting yourself and the band). It could be leading other into worship at church, a community band or choir that plays for veterans and schools, etc. Don’t not lead the band. Not yet.
While playing for this band, work hard on figuring out how you can support the other band members. Be passionate about make others their best. Become a specialist at making others look/sound good. (If you really learn to do this well, you’ll never have to look for a gig.)
Find someone to teach or mentor. Always. Pass on the joy. This will keep you young at heart. You need to experience the excitement of seeing someone play their first note or chord over and over again. It’ll keep your spark alive.
If you do everything above and you’re loving it (and the people who hear you enjoy it too), then I believe God made you a musician. If not, then either you’re too selfish to enjoy anything, or there’s something else out there that’s better for you, quit trying to be a musician, you’re driving yourself and us crazy.
So now, you have a fulfilled musical life and the opportunity arises for you to be the leader. You now have the opportunity to step into the ever treacherous limelight. Don’t throw it all away. Don’t become impressed by yourself. Don’t fall back into trying to serve yourself with your music, it will all disappear so fast. Even if you don’t lose your “career”, you will lose your joy. Which is worse.
So if you lead… and I’m not saying you should, serve your band members, serve your support staff wherever you go, serve the people that listen to you.
I could write a whole nother blog about how to serve. (Yes, I know nother is not a word.) But it’s probably sufficient to say that if you look for every possibility to take care of them, you’ll do a good job and you’ll get better at it.
Matthew 22:36-40
New King James Version (NKJV)
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”
37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’[a]38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
